Sunday, January 20, 2013

How to Build Up Low Self Esteem

By David B. Nelson


Low self esteem is often caused by the lack of confidence or value of one's self. You see, loving yourself is the only best way of building self esteem and confidence. You might think that this is a conceited type of love and care. But, actually, it is not. It only suggests that you need to accept everything about yourself, whether it is good or bad. But in so doing, you should never bring yourself down.Positive self-esteem can provide lots of helpful benefits to every aspect of a person's life, particularly on his family, career, relationships, social life, and inner health or morale. There are some people who highly value their career but not their social affairs. And there are people who feel most secure and confident when they are around self-assured people. This is in view of the fact that they are usually obvious and their actions are consistent.

You will easily be able to identify a person with high self esteem. Their very existence will exude all the characteristics above, from their physical appearance right down to the manner in which they speak. They tend to be popular, motivated, ambitious and do not accept defeat easily. Their purpose in life has meaning and they vigorously pursue what they want until they achieve it.In contract, people with low self esteem think they are worthless. They believe that nothing they do merits recognition, praise, respect or reward. Such a person will contently devalue themselves in the presence of others because they simply do not believe they are worthy. They tend to shy away from social inclusion and take the view that everybody else's opinions matter more than their own. They feel shameful and embarrassed at the very thought that they could ever be admirable in any way.

Never think about your problems and brood over your past. Move on and have a positive outlook, so you can change your future.Understand your powers and limitations. It is good to be positive, but you should know where you stand in life. Never be over ambitious or think about things that aren't viable and be depressed over it. Use your powers and win over your limitations.Challenge yourself every now and then. Change is one thing that's constant and when you adapt yourself to different situations, you can become a better person. This way, you can also know your hidden potentials.Don't compare yourself with anyone, who above or below you! You are what you are! There's no photocopy of you. Remember, you are unique and special. By comparing, you can undermine yourself. You might not be the best rapper, but you will probably be good at something else. So don't compare yourself with others.

Stay motivated at all times. Reading inspirational thoughts, affirmations, quotes on self esteem and everything related, can keep you upbeat and motivated.Socialize and never restrict yourself to a cage! You need to mingle with others, get out of your room or home and talk to people you know and know those you don't! Socializing, is one way to improve your self esteem.Set realistic goals and strive to achieve them. By setting goals and working towards achieving them, you improve your self esteem.

Dress better.Boosting your self esteem has to start on the inside, but there's no reason why you can't start to feel good by wearing nice clothes and making yourself look good. Take pride in your appearance and let others see how good you look. You're worth it!Speak your mind.If you have an opinion, voice it. Who cares what other people think? You're quite happy to listen to other people most of time so why not speak up yourself? There is absolutely nothing to stop you from divulging what's on your mind.Build confidence.Practice being assertive. Write down a list of positive affirmations which will increase your confidence. Say them out loud every morning and at night before you sleep. Remove the word can't from your vocabulary. Listen to motivating music and re-programme your mind to accept a higher level of confidence as the new norm.Take action.Build your self esteem by doing as many things as you can. Just go for it. Don't even think about the end result. People with low self esteem usually think long and hard before doing something and usually talk themselves out of it. If you don't try it, you'll never know. The more you do things, the better you will feel.Self esteem is a powerful trait that can make you or break you. It's a trait YOU control. Make a choice. Refuse to accept anything less than greatness for yourself. Become stronger, think of yourself as a proud, affirmative, confident person with unlimited potential to achieve whatever you set your mind to.A lack of self-esteem can damage any relationship. In marriage especially it can cause a lot of problems. A spouse suffering from low self-esteem can contribute to infidelity, child or spousal abuse, divorce or financial trouble. If your spouse has low self-esteem and you don't think it matters, you might find out the hard way that it really does make a lot of difference.

Also expect that you will not always succeed the first few times that you attempt to do something. The important thing is to go onto finish what you set out to do.This gives you a good sense of accomplishment and then you will start to build confidence.I hope these self esteem tips are helpful to you so that you can start to believe in yourself and go onto having the happiness and success that you deserve.If you are not happy with your life then it is up to you to change it.Since I often write about healing after an affair, I am asked very often about how to restore or rebuild a wife's self esteem after infidelity. The truth is, even if and when a wife has forgiven her husband or wants to move on, the hit to her self esteem can keep this from happening. It can be hard to believe your husband genuinely loves / desires you and won't cheat again when you deep down don't believe this yourself as you might fear there is something wrong with you or that your husband had an affair because of something the mistress or other woman had that you didn't. This article will give you some facts, tips, and information that is meant to help educate you about affairs, why they happen, why it's not at all your fault, and how you can rebuild your self esteem following it.

Your Husband's Affair Was Not Your Fault And The Mistress Or Other Woman Doesn't Have Anything That You Don't Have: Although I'm sure at one point you may hear your husband say that the affair happened because he felt there was something in the marriage he wasn't getting, the truth is there are millions of men who have frustrations and who don't cheat on their wives. Husbands who cheat, for whatever reason, have had poor impulse control and decision making and the blame for this is entirely on their own shoulders. With that said, it may help to know that well over 75% of husband's who cheat say that they did so for emotional and not physical reasons. It's so common to believe that an affair is all about sex, but most times it really isn't. It's about the husband feeling bad about himself and his own self worth and trying to recapture something he feels has been lost outside of his marriage. And, you should know that only 12% of men who have cheated felt the other woman was prettier than their wives. Almost 80% of men who cheat are "extremely sorry" that the affair happened.

You have to lay down very clear goals for yourself. This is something that you should do on an everyday basis because it will certainly assist you deal with different people in a much simpler way. It is vital for you to understand that if you have great relations with others, then attaining your goals will be much simpler. You need to be more outgoing in your mission. This suggests that you must be the one to take the initiative. Many individuals react positively to those who take proactive functions in life.Value each and every individual that you satisfy. If you do this, then many individuals will feel great being around you and they will certainly additionally often tend to reciprocate the treatment.

Sometimes it is nice to do little things "just because", such as giving gifts, leaving notes and doing other special things for your partner. These things can (and should) be done outside special occasions too. Never be deprecating, in private or in public. Don't put your spouse down or make generalized comments like "you never take out the trash" or "you always leave a mess in the kitchen". These comments will make your spouse feel they do everything wrong. And saying bad things about them in public is never acceptable and will just embarrass them and knock them down emotionally.

Show that you are interested in them. Do you know their favorite animal or color? Do you know their ambitions and dreams? Find out these things and use the information. If you find out your wife likes turtles, buy her a turtle ornament, for example, "just because". Find out her favorite dinner and make it for her. This demonstrates your love and care for your spouse by actions, which speak louder than words. Asking questions about what your spouse likes and doesn't like is a great way to build intimacy and show that you are interested in everything about them.Remember not to go it alone. Asking "what is your opinion?" is very important, especially in a marriage. You must always take your partner's views into consideration when making a decision. Whether it is a major purchase or just a small thing, ask what your spouse thinks. Whether you are deciding where to go on vacation or changing the color of the bedroom carpet, ask them. This tells them that you trust and value them and this can greatly enhance your marriage.Healthy self-esteem ensures a happy, fulfilling marriage. Taking the time to implement the above ideas can help to build your spouse's self-esteem and make the two of you, plus any children you have, happier together. It might take weeks, or even months, to build up someone's self-esteem but if you use these ideas, hopefully it will be a great success in the end.




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