Nobody's perfect. When it is common for families to have two working parents or guardians, single parent houses, co-parenting, mixed families, and just plain, normal mothers and fathers doing the best they can, mistakes occur. Mistake number one: parents too tired to parent.
This is probably our oldest parenting mistake. Back in "the day," parenting after a very long day hunting and gathering probably looked rather more like an episode of "Survivor" rather than "The Waltons." Parents or guardians put older siblings in charge of younger siblings; kids who could prepare food were put to work, while Mom and Dad protected the clan from rapacious animals and neighbors. In true Darwinian fashion, progeny who did not conform to family norms probably didn't survive.
Today, well-meaning, exhausted parents or guardians know they should not ignore misbehavior, yet occasionally find that it is just easier to allow the television and Playstation to parent their kids. Outbursts are met with concessions. Youngsters learn to act on their own reconnaissance instead of ask permission because they know effects from exhausted parents and guardians can be negotiated away through whining, manipulation, persistence, and even good behavior.
This leads us to mistake number two: parents and guardians that cannot apply suitable consequences because their child is exhibiting good behavior such as cleaning the car, vacuuming, and setting the table. Time off for good behavior only works in prison. In the home, kids are in command of their behavior choices, and parents are in charge of the subsequent rewards and punishments. If kids are permitted to select their behavior and manipulate the reactions of their parents by acting "good," this can lead to power struggles, confusion, and more manipulation. Children shortly learn that their tired parents and guardians crave love and contentment (and a clean vehicle), and will do anything to cut down a punishment if their children reward them with good behavior and good attitudes.
Parenting is not for the faint-hearted, and perfection in parenting is a myth! There are many time management books for moms and dads to show how to conserve energy for parenting in the midst of a hectic working schedule. Always keep an eye open for good parental advice and do your best to apply a time management plan if you are overworked.
This is probably our oldest parenting mistake. Back in "the day," parenting after a very long day hunting and gathering probably looked rather more like an episode of "Survivor" rather than "The Waltons." Parents or guardians put older siblings in charge of younger siblings; kids who could prepare food were put to work, while Mom and Dad protected the clan from rapacious animals and neighbors. In true Darwinian fashion, progeny who did not conform to family norms probably didn't survive.
Today, well-meaning, exhausted parents or guardians know they should not ignore misbehavior, yet occasionally find that it is just easier to allow the television and Playstation to parent their kids. Outbursts are met with concessions. Youngsters learn to act on their own reconnaissance instead of ask permission because they know effects from exhausted parents and guardians can be negotiated away through whining, manipulation, persistence, and even good behavior.
This leads us to mistake number two: parents and guardians that cannot apply suitable consequences because their child is exhibiting good behavior such as cleaning the car, vacuuming, and setting the table. Time off for good behavior only works in prison. In the home, kids are in command of their behavior choices, and parents are in charge of the subsequent rewards and punishments. If kids are permitted to select their behavior and manipulate the reactions of their parents by acting "good," this can lead to power struggles, confusion, and more manipulation. Children shortly learn that their tired parents and guardians crave love and contentment (and a clean vehicle), and will do anything to cut down a punishment if their children reward them with good behavior and good attitudes.
Parenting is not for the faint-hearted, and perfection in parenting is a myth! There are many time management books for moms and dads to show how to conserve energy for parenting in the midst of a hectic working schedule. Always keep an eye open for good parental advice and do your best to apply a time management plan if you are overworked.
About the Author:
Doctor. Kate Walker is a licensed professional therapist in the Woodlands, Texas. Her parental advice making certain understanding for beat parents and guardians seeking a time management plan, as well as tips for coping with misbehavior to demonstrate the simplest way to effectively parent while working.
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